Chapter 4, Sudden Change

We stood at this station for an hour, and no one spoke a word. As the night grew deeper, apart from the sound of the wind blowing and the snow falling, there was no other sound to be heard around us, a silence so profound it was frightening

Entering the palace to become a consort, being the woman of the emperor, adorned in brocade and enjoying lavish meals, possessing endless wealth and honor, yet I do not covet it now. The young lady and I have been expelled from Xiling, left with empty hands and nothing to our names, but we have our hands and our minds, and we are still living well in Liangzhou.

My adoptive mother is a poor widow who relies on doing some sewing work to make a living. She was already struggling to have three meals a day, and ever since she brought me home, she often goes without food. Even though she is bedridden due to illness, without money to buy medicine or hire a doctor, she has never touched the gold leaf that I possess. She says that gold leaf will take me home

I looked at my father calmly, stubborn yet resolute

I do not seek your bestowal of wealth and glory; my return this time is not driven by a desire for the prominent power of the Dragon Guard or the luxurious life within the mansion. I have traveled thousands of miles back solely because you are my parents, the ones to whom my heart is bound and my soul is tethered

After the death of her adoptive mother, no one was willing to look at her. They said that her mother had contracted tuberculosis, and anyone who approached her would also be infected. No one helped to bury her mother, and even I was regarded as an ill omen, forbidden to approach the doorsteps of any household

During the day, I beg for alms, picking up discarded buns from others. At night, I shrink into a corner, wearing these dirty and thin clothes, my body stiff with cold, fantasizing about my parents coming to take me home

However, after several stormy nights, the dilapidated wooden house, which had long been in disrepair, collapsed. After I crawled out of the ruins in tears, I became a homeless wanderer

There is no maid like me, who cannot cook, cannot do laundry, and whose cooking is worse than that of the young lady. My needlework and embroidery are even more unsightly than the young lady's. The young lady can still embroider a duck for the cold young master, which, although very ugly, can still vaguely be recognized as a duck. However, I do not even understand that.

What did you say? My heart sank suddenly, and I stared blankly at my father. His features were very distinct, with sword-like eyebrows and starry eyes, and he had a very prominent nose. My father looked quite imposing and majestic, standing firm like a great mountain.

"Ye'er, father does not have much time left." Father slowly opened his palms towards me, revealing a mass of deep black in his palms, a sight that was shocking to behold

That year, I dug a pit behind the house and buried my mother in it, crying as I dug, my hands bleeding from the effort. After that day, at the age of five, I often stumbled out of the empty and dilapidated house in the middle of the night, swaying as I walked down the street like a rat searching for food in the darkness

She would rather face death than sever the path of reunion with her loved ones

You hold a grand banquet, publicly revealing my identity, is it to pave the way for me to enter the palace? You traveled a great distance to bring me back, not for the sake of our mother-daughter relationship, but because you want me to enter the palace as a concubine? I looked up at this tall and imposing man, feeling a slight pain in my chest.

Since then, I have dressed well, eaten well, and become accustomed to a life of luxury and abundance. Gradually, I forgot the hardships I once endured, forgot my own identity, and followed the young lady around, wielding power and influence, to the point where I became completely inept and ignorant.

Father was decisive throughout his life, engaging in countless battles without hesitation. Yet, in this matter, I have struggled until now. If it were not for the circumstances beyond my control, how could it have come to this? This time, I hurriedly brought you back to the northern lands, not because your mother is nearing her end, but because I am about to depart from this world. Despite my relentless efforts and meticulous planning, I have been unable to grant your mother a peaceful latter half of her life.

As the words fell, a long silence ensued. Father stood up, his gaze penetrating through the window to the pitch-black night. His tall and sturdy figure resembled a desolate mountain, exuding a sense of bleakness.

My adoptive mother kept repeating this phrase until her hands fell weakly to her sides. I was only five years old then, and now more than ten years have passed. The image of my adoptive mother has become somewhat blurred in my memory, but I have never forgotten this phrase, nor do I wish to forget it

I will not enter the palace to become a consort, regardless of whether he is the revered sovereign or a true dragon descended from heaven. I, Xiao Ye, am not a fool. Even if I were to marry, I would choose someone who is more handsome. Even if he is not good-looking, at least he should be younger. The Northern Emperor is older than you. Father, do you have no familial affection for me at all?

You are much calmer than I imagined, very good. After a while, my father finally turned around, his face bearing deep fatigue, and in the depths of his eyes, there was a trace of pain that was difficult to detect

After the Chu residence was burned down, I followed the young lady through hardships and trials. We endured a great deal of suffering due to our lack of money, going a whole day without even a single steamed bun to eat, and even being beaten to the point of having bruised faces. At that time, we were driven mad by thoughts of silver and gold, and all we wished for was to sleep while holding onto a mountain of gold.

The call of "Ye'er" was hoarse and heavy, sending a shiver through me

The winter of the year my adoptive mother passed away, although it did not snow, was as cold as this night. As she lay dying, she stroked my forehead with her calloused hand and told me that I must live on no matter what, for my parents would surely be anxiously searching for me.

I did not wait for my parents, but instead waited for the esteemed Princess Xi Qian'er of the Western Ling. She bent down to look at me, taking my hand with her beautiful one. She did not mind that I was dirty at all. Everyone says that the princess is the worst woman in the world, but in my heart, she is a celestial being from the heavens

I took a cold breath, and if I remember correctly, the current emperor is already sixty years old. Does my father want me to marry him? My chest feels heavy and constricted